Is the grass really greener on the other side?

by Angela

Before moving back to my homeland of beautiful British Columbia from Montreal back in October, I ensured I had my nursing license transferred well in advance, enough savings to cover a few months of unemployment and clarified the projected start date from the date of application. Boy did I learn a few lessons!

Since moving back, I have had an uphill battle in getting a job in my field due to unforeseen complications in the application process that were predominantly out of my control.

Tips and Tricks before making a move:

1. Have an emergency savings account that you only touch in EMERGENCIES. That does not mean you had a bad day and need to go to Mexico for a week or that you got invited to a private event and need the latest and greatest dress.

2. No matter how long human resources projects the employment date to the start date ALWAYS ensure you apply early and ideally have the job locked in before you give your notice and before you move (even if that means negotiating your start date to month or two later to give yourself for time to travel and to settle into your new surroundings).

3. If you fail to accomplish number two, as I did, draw on your skills and pick up some part time work to help prolong that emergency fund. Work seasonal at a retail job, apply for babysitting positions, teach lessons for whatever skills you possess, tutor… you get the idea.

I digress, while I learnt a lot (see above tips and ticks) and just recently started an RN job it was not all roses and butterflies.  

Given our lives are increasingly open book thanks to various media platforms, whether it’s friends, family or celebrities, we have a reference group of seemingly perfect individuals, with perfect families, and perfect lives.

While this can be great motivation, at times it can be detrimental to a positive self image. I would know because I surprisingly (and I am embarrassed to admit) found myself over the last few months getting progressively harder on myself, disappointed in myself and even taking that out on the people closest to me.

I worked hard to achieve the skills to pursue a career and where did that get me? Unemployed, slowly becoming more bankrupt and stir crazy from being stuck in my apartment without the financial freedom to do all the activities I love to do. With the passing of a family member on top of all this coming into 2016, all I could think was what did I do wrong?!

Sure, in hindsight I could have done a few things differently… But, (and it took me the last 4 months) I’ve learnt to realize: that’s life.

When life has got you down and it’s looking pretty green on the other side, stop, take a nice warm shower, go for a run, meditate, do whatever you need to relax and de-stress and then put things in perspective.

Over the last week I’ve given my head a shake and done just that. Which leads me to…

Tips and tricks to find perspective:

1.  Write down all the things positive in your life.

This can be your friends, family, skill set, education, favourite past times, awesome new book you just read, anything and everything. Read them out loud and really truly appreciate each and every one. This is key. If you’re like me and need a few repetitions, put them on a post it and put them on your bathroom mirror. I was consistently recognizing the things that I didn’t have in my life that I felt that I needed. By stopping and appreciating what I did and do have, I am motivated to take what I have and work with it to achieve more.

2. Find a mantra.

This is meant to be a simple phrase that you say when you’re feeling a little bit down to perk you up and keep trucking through. For me it’s “in a year from now this won’t matter”. For whatever reason it puts things in perspective for me and motivates me to accept what is in front of me, to make necessary positive changes and to keep moving forward.

3. Set intentions.

I much prefer this to goals. Goals mean deadlines, which means more pressure and disappointment if not achieved. For me, an intention focuses the mind on a pathway rather than an end goal. By, setting out on a positive path (or intention) you achieve results (or goals) that make positive changes in your life.

4. Talk to someone, anyone, everyone.

Whether it’s professional help (psychologist, career counsellor), friends or family, talking about what’s going on in your life can and will do wonders. It can open doors to connections to facilitate your intentions and you learn what your supports are and how amazing the people in your life are. You will also see that everyone has skeletons in their closet. Allowing time for discussion on the negatives, for me, can bring the most positive results and positive connections with others. You relate on a deeper level and realize, hey I’m not so hard done by, someone else has been there and they’ve pulled through, and I can do this. Hence the generation of this very blog! Over the last few months Mel and I found ourselves in a rut and wanted a healthy outlet to bring us out of that very rut.

I will be the first to say that over here on my side, life is not always greener. It throws curve balls.

No matter how big or small that curve is, it stings every time.

Pull on the positives, set new intentions and talk about it.The grass isn’t greener on the other side.

I have no idea where or how I came across this quote but when my mantra is not quite doing it I have my back up:

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right and forget the ones who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.