A Bachelorette Pad Please?

by Melissa

I recently made the decision to find a place for myself. Note, that I have not actually found anything, but I’ve realized that it’s time to live on my own. I have had more or less eighteen different flatmates (mind you, I have moved around a lot), and I would do it all over again if I had to.

But I don’t.

There are so many upsides to living with other people, mainly having amazing company and always having someone to have a laugh with. On the other hand, living with someone comes responsibility… a shared responsibility of paying the bills, household chores, and being mindful of someone else’s schedule and personal space. This is where things can get a little tricky.

People have their own way of living and depending on the amount of flatmates that occupy the shared space, you have to adjust and be flexible to each person. People wake up at different times, have their own way cleaning, have an opposite schedule, the list goes on and on. After eighteen different flatmates (more or less), there comes a point where enough is enough and let’s trying this whole living alone thing.

I have chatted with many people about how they enjoy living alone and what it’s like. Some love it, some get kind of lonely, but mostly everyone is happy they made the decision to live alone. To me there seems to be a sense of control and although remembering to pick yourself up toilet paper or cleaning the house is annoying, everything is on you and there’s no one to put the blame on but yourself.

Although I am on the quest for a place of my own, I will impart with you my top three tips for living in a shared space.

Scheduling Responsibilities
When I lived in a flat of six people, we had a contract that we signed that every week one person would do a big house clean, pick up toilet paper, pay the cleaning man, and take out the rubbish. It worked on a rotating schedule so each person only had to worry about household chores every six weeks.

Bills
Keeping a list on the fridge of who’s bought what for the house and the amount is a great way to keep track of household spending. At the end of every month you can tally up who’s spent what on the house and see who owes who money.

Communication is Key
Communication is key to any successful relationship, including the relationship with your flatmate(s). I have learnt over the years to let someone know immediately if something is bothering me regarding the flat. I have learnt the hard way that keeping things in is not a good idea. If there are many people in the flat on different schedules, having a group text is a great way to communicate with everyone. This way nothing is left unsaid and things can be resolved as quickly as possible.

Hope these little tips help, but if finding a place on your own sounds appealing (and financially feasible)… give it a try!

Is the grass really greener on the other side?

by Angela

Before moving back to my homeland of beautiful British Columbia from Montreal back in October, I ensured I had my nursing license transferred well in advance, enough savings to cover a few months of unemployment and clarified the projected start date from the date of application. Boy did I learn a few lessons!

Since moving back, I have had an uphill battle in getting a job in my field due to unforeseen complications in the application process that were predominantly out of my control.

Tips and Tricks before making a move:

1. Have an emergency savings account that you only touch in EMERGENCIES. That does not mean you had a bad day and need to go to Mexico for a week or that you got invited to a private event and need the latest and greatest dress.

2. No matter how long human resources projects the employment date to the start date ALWAYS ensure you apply early and ideally have the job locked in before you give your notice and before you move (even if that means negotiating your start date to month or two later to give yourself for time to travel and to settle into your new surroundings).

3. If you fail to accomplish number two, as I did, draw on your skills and pick up some part time work to help prolong that emergency fund. Work seasonal at a retail job, apply for babysitting positions, teach lessons for whatever skills you possess, tutor… you get the idea.

I digress, while I learnt a lot (see above tips and ticks) and just recently started an RN job it was not all roses and butterflies.  

Given our lives are increasingly open book thanks to various media platforms, whether it’s friends, family or celebrities, we have a reference group of seemingly perfect individuals, with perfect families, and perfect lives.

While this can be great motivation, at times it can be detrimental to a positive self image. I would know because I surprisingly (and I am embarrassed to admit) found myself over the last few months getting progressively harder on myself, disappointed in myself and even taking that out on the people closest to me.

I worked hard to achieve the skills to pursue a career and where did that get me? Unemployed, slowly becoming more bankrupt and stir crazy from being stuck in my apartment without the financial freedom to do all the activities I love to do. With the passing of a family member on top of all this coming into 2016, all I could think was what did I do wrong?!

Sure, in hindsight I could have done a few things differently… But, (and it took me the last 4 months) I’ve learnt to realize: that’s life.

When life has got you down and it’s looking pretty green on the other side, stop, take a nice warm shower, go for a run, meditate, do whatever you need to relax and de-stress and then put things in perspective.

Over the last week I’ve given my head a shake and done just that. Which leads me to…

Tips and tricks to find perspective:

1.  Write down all the things positive in your life.

This can be your friends, family, skill set, education, favourite past times, awesome new book you just read, anything and everything. Read them out loud and really truly appreciate each and every one. This is key. If you’re like me and need a few repetitions, put them on a post it and put them on your bathroom mirror. I was consistently recognizing the things that I didn’t have in my life that I felt that I needed. By stopping and appreciating what I did and do have, I am motivated to take what I have and work with it to achieve more.

2. Find a mantra.

This is meant to be a simple phrase that you say when you’re feeling a little bit down to perk you up and keep trucking through. For me it’s “in a year from now this won’t matter”. For whatever reason it puts things in perspective for me and motivates me to accept what is in front of me, to make necessary positive changes and to keep moving forward.

3. Set intentions.

I much prefer this to goals. Goals mean deadlines, which means more pressure and disappointment if not achieved. For me, an intention focuses the mind on a pathway rather than an end goal. By, setting out on a positive path (or intention) you achieve results (or goals) that make positive changes in your life.

4. Talk to someone, anyone, everyone.

Whether it’s professional help (psychologist, career counsellor), friends or family, talking about what’s going on in your life can and will do wonders. It can open doors to connections to facilitate your intentions and you learn what your supports are and how amazing the people in your life are. You will also see that everyone has skeletons in their closet. Allowing time for discussion on the negatives, for me, can bring the most positive results and positive connections with others. You relate on a deeper level and realize, hey I’m not so hard done by, someone else has been there and they’ve pulled through, and I can do this. Hence the generation of this very blog! Over the last few months Mel and I found ourselves in a rut and wanted a healthy outlet to bring us out of that very rut.

I will be the first to say that over here on my side, life is not always greener. It throws curve balls.

No matter how big or small that curve is, it stings every time.

Pull on the positives, set new intentions and talk about it.The grass isn’t greener on the other side.

I have no idea where or how I came across this quote but when my mantra is not quite doing it I have my back up:

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right and forget the ones who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

 

The Odd Job

by Melissa

Many of us have been in a position where we look for extra work to make ends meet. I’ve worked as a hot dog stand vendor at the Emirates Stadium to looking up research studies that I can participate in at local universities. All of this to make a buck, buy some food, and perhaps have a pint with some friends.

Recently, I find myself back in the position of trying to find some occasional part time work to pay the last bill that’s due and to tie up any loose ends. Straight up: it’s not an ideal position to be in.

This time round, I’ve tried to find the odd job that I can build skills that I want to work on. Slightly selfish, but if I’m going to do a job that isn’t directly in my career path, I want it to be at least one of the following options: a way to network, develops transferable skills, or fun and makes the time go by quickly.

During my hunt, I’ve narrowed the areas of work to three options: retail, tutoring, or caregiver work. My reasoning to look into retail is that there is the potential of a really great discount and in Quebec I can work on my language skills. Tutoring is something I find fun and it is very rewarding when you can see someone progress and excel in an area they have been struggling with. Being a caregiver is tough work at times, but it helps develop skills that are transferable to the health care profession.

On a quest for some occasional work, I’ve noticed that it’s important to have a healthy balance between selective and open to what comes your way. I decided that I would only apply to jobs that I was positive about because I’ve noticed if you’re not immediately excited about something then it makes it that much harder to get out of bed and go to work.

Over the past month, I’ve applied to a variety of positions and after ten applications or so I finally landed an interview! (YAY). It’s an occasional babysitting position which can be physically demanding and a huge responsibility. Although, if you’re like me and like children, it’s fun and helps develop many skills that I can take with me to my job as a music therapist.

There’s always that waiting period and hoping the job will pan out, but at least now I know a part time or occasional job, doesn’t have to be something I dread doing just for some extra cash… it can and should be something that contributes to me not just financially, but in skills and adding to my daily dose of enjoyment.

Next time you’re in a bind and looking for some work, try looking for positions you’re excited about, help you develop  in some way, and most importantly a position that doesn’t get in the way of your main job or where you want your path in life to go!

I’d like to call a friend.

by Angela

Through life I have made some really great friends, and things like Facebook, email, and texting have made keeping in touch manageable even with time differences and conflicting schedules.

Unfortunately, there were still times I felt disconnected from my friends and missing out on true hangouts with my besties.

With our heads down in our cell phones it’s amazing how little time we actually spend talking to the people around us. If you stop and think about it, when was the last time you really connected with someone? What’s going on with that friend you haven’t seen in ages?

In my quest to reconnect in a world that’s supposed to be so connected, I started resorting back to good ol’ snail mail. I can honestly say that no PM, text, emoji, or email can compete with seeing a letter from someone you love in your mailbox and opening it to find a handwritten letter addressed to you.

I myself have made it a life goal to send out regular cards and letters for birthdays, Christmas, and for no other reason but to say “hello friend”. It is a budget friendly way of doing something nice for someone else, especially when the card is homemade.

Pinterest is always good for ideas!  My inspiration is my mom. She is the master of homemade cards. I have attended a few of her Stampin’ up! classes to start off my card collection. You can find classes with various demonstrators in your neighborhood on their website. It also makes for a reasonably priced evening out to meet new people. You can also find great deals at stationary/office stores for sale stationary, envelopes, and cards.

While writing a letter can be great fun, my phone calls with my friends really make my week. Mel and I chat almost every other day and even though we are miles apart from being roommates, it makes the distance significantly smaller.

To get out of the habit of going for text messaging and having quality conversations, I started out by setting an intention every week, no matter how busy I am, to call one of my friends. It’s a simple initiative and makes for a positive change.

I find myself at times calling at just the right time when a friend needs to vent or vice versa. Fun fact: It is also a budget friendly hangout and it is a great way to kill time while walking to the grocery store.

Call, write a card, reconnect with friends.

 

Winter Blues

by Melissa

The start of a new year is really exciting and it’s a time for new opportunity and resolutions. The contrast from fun filled holidays, joyous music and family and friends galore, to adjusting and settling back into daily life is not always easy. Day to day we experience a range of events leaving us feeling elated and overjoyed to broken and numb.

Achieving great things in our lives and having tragic things happen to us or the ones we love can happen at any point of the year. That being said, the overwhelming range of emotions I have felt in the past month has left me in a bit of a funk.

I definitely let myself feel different emotions when I’m experiencing things and give myself the time to process difficult feelings. There are good days and bad days and pretty normal days. I think everyday there is a part of myself managing, coping, and processing various emotional states. While exhausting at times, it is all part of life.

There are loads of resources out there that give advice about how to kick those winter blues, get over a breakup, be a better you, and I’m going to add to that…  

Here are some of the ways I manage my overall mental health, especially when it’s hard to see the great things around me:

Going for a stroll
I’m a pretty sedentary person and I’m not keen on the gym. However, I love walking: walking in a shopping centre, to a friend’s house, or simply to enjoy the neighbourhood. It’s a helpful way to clear my head and get some fresh air.

Satisfying a craving (in moderation)
I’m a firm believer in a well-balanced diet, but sometimes a craving needs to be filled. By no means am I a nutritionist, but I think listening to what my body wants within reason is good for physical and mental health.

Accomplishing something… anything!
I set mini goals and write to-do lists for myself and admittedly some are more sophisticated than others. Some of my mini goals at the moment include only pressing the snooze button once, get passport photos, and start doing my taxes. Understandably these are everyday life things, but it feels good when you get it done. Acknowledging that I can check things off my to-do list makes me feel productive and that to me is a good feeling.

Exploring my creative side
I think we all have the potential to be creative through various art forms. Visual art, music, and movement can all be daunting forms of expression. However, after going on a creative endeavour I usually find myself feeling relaxed and at ease, no matter what the outcome is. The process of creating something by yourself or with friends can be very enjoyable and a way to channel different things we are feeling.

Recognizing the good things
Thanksgiving is my favourite holiday, but as I get older, I think it’s important for me to show gratitude on more than one occasion. by recognizing how grateful I am to have such caring and loving people in my life. To all my loved ones, Golden Girls says it best, “Thank you for being a friend”.

These are just some of the things that I do to get myself out of a slump. If you find yourself a little more tired, down, or unmotivated, try something that brings a smile back onto your face. You can start with my suggestions or do something that works for you. Leave a comment with your suggestions!

Mindfulness

by Angela

“10 minutes a day to less stress, more peace”.

I agree, at first it seems like bogus , but it works.

Thanks to part time employment, Mel and I more often than not find ourselves stressed over our budgets, looking for additional work, planning meals on a dime, while still maintaining some semblance of a social life, and not to mention worrying about all the other life woes…  

As a result, we are always trying to find new ways to better our mind, body, and souls and slow down life enough to really smell the coffee and savor time together.

For myself, yoga has always been a big tool for stress relief, but taking the time to do any form of self guided mediation outside the yoga studio seemed way beyond my talents.

Until….

“The Little Book of Mindfulness” by Patrizia Collard.

I recently received this as a gift and I have to say it has been a blessing in each of its pages.

This conveniently sized pocket book can go with you anywhere, anytime, and is a great beginners guide to meditation with short 5-10 minute exercises.

“Mindfulness is a new way of being, a new way of experiencing life and improving one’s work-life balance”

I have only read through the intro and first section of “being in the now” but I’m surprised at how well it relaxes the mind, brings about focus, and overall energizes.

Coffee, you’ve got some competition.

Not within the budget? No problem!

The magic of the internet can give you access to numerous websites and printable PDFs with similar exercises.

We all know our life is too fast paced and over stimulated with gizmos and gadgets. My quest to you is to find a way to slow your life  down and bring peace of mind.

On your next bus ride, coffee break, or that moment in the morning where you’re strongly considering hitting snooze just one more time – stop and give mindfulness a try.

Seriously, 5 minutes is all it takes.

 

Our Reality Check: A Degree Doesn’t Mean an Income

by Angela

Most people would agree that university was hands down one of the best experiences of their lives to date. Amazing friendships (including the one that founded this very blog), embarrassing yet heart warming memories, and endless life lessons both in and outside the classroom were made.

Like many, we worked hard for our degrees and managed part time jobs while studying and maintaining some level of a social life. With graduation, that piece of paper made us feel empowered and feel that finally, finally! we can now go make a difference and do what we were meant to do.

Think a university degree will get you the job of your dreams? Well it definitely can! But being handed a job the same time as that crisp white (or beige) paper is far from current reality.

The truth of the matter is, even if we do get a job straight out of uni, it might come in the form of an internship, inconsistent hours, and a mediocre salary. Reality check: A degree doesn’t mean an income and experience isn’t necessarily income. However, we’ve learnt to value our experiences and use the network we’ve built to seek new opportunity.

A tip on applying for a job (whatever form it may come in) – Apply early and negotiate your start date. Even if you’re going to travel in between jobs or after graduation, secure that start date so you’re in control. Panicking when unexpected barriers come up while your savings account is slowly, but steadily, trickling down to nothing is not fun.

If you’ve decided that freelance work is the way to go, good on ya! Plus side: we’re in the field we have worked so hard to be in and are excited to grow and learn in the workforce. The grey cloud: the daunting notion of being responsible at managing our own finances.

Fast forward to when you get the job…

Well first thing is first: You did it! You got a job! Congratulations! Pop the prosecco and celebrate!

Second thing: Managing those finances.

Third thing: Eating well (within a budget).

At this point, please remind yourself that this entry has been written by a registered nurse and music therapist whose money (and life) managing skills come from trial and error and personal experience.

Moral of the story… real life will kick you while you’re down, take your money and do everything possible to prevent you from obtaining that dream job.

Try not to fret, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will get through it!

We went from successful students to competent employees to almost unemployed (retail position at minimum wage and a lull in the world of freelance and contract work) – we’re not going to sugar coat it…

Despite all of that, we still manage to experience life.  Through the ups and the downs we will always enjoy a good laugh, some guac, and a beer with our friends!

It’s a matter of indulging within budget and cutting just the right corners to get you where you need to be – because guess what, hard work really does pay off! …your bank account will thank you.

So, what does it all mean?! Step one: Make a budget.

Step up an appointment with your bank, find an app, or draft a spreadsheet of your spending. Your bank account and stress levels will thank you.

From our experience, MINT has been a great, FREE, app for budgeting available in Canada and the USA. It takes seconds to set up your own personalized budget and with once a week emails on your spendings it really helps you see where your money goes. You can then make adjustments for next month as needed.

Set financial goals, see trends in your spending, and save your money all in one handy app!

Cheers,
AM

*Disclosure: we are not sponsored by MINT. We simply get really enthusiastic about things we like.